Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
