they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
