Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
