There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
