just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
