The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
