That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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