ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
