Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
