New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
