This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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