I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
