That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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