Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
