hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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