yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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