Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
