I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He has the fingertips of a God
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
