and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
How's work?
Spinning.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
