sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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