I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
