Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
