we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
