i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
