i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
