I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
