Midget sex pt 2 tonight
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
