My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
