Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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