did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You are the jesus of drinking
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
