Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
