I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
