Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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