My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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