she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
