Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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