we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
