it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
