I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
