He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Randomize
