I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
