Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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