Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
