she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
