forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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