Its about making memories worth repressing
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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