carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
