chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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