Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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