How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
