My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
