if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
