They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
