He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
