what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
