i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dick very happy bro
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
