just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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