Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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