Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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