yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
