butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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