whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Less talking, more tequila
How external is "for external use only"?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
