Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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